Inebriation Dampening Field
by crazygirlne
Summary: Rose, Jack, and the Doctor visit a pub and find illegal equipment.


_I can't write in my regular series until Wednesday but needed to write. I wanted something simple and silly and under a thousand words, and this is what I got. Enjoy!_

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Rose was at a local pub (relative to the TARDIS's current location) with the Doctor and with Jack, who'd not been traveling with them for very long. Rose and Jack had decided they wanted a night of fun, with or without the Doctor. The Doctor, after a look at Rose, who was dressed in a very short skirt, and a glance at Jack, who waited with his trademark grin, announced that he would join them. They'd all gotten several drinks in them by this point, and Rose was a little on the giggly side but not yet slurring.

"What's the name of this planet again, Doctor?" she asked.

"Hydrophlorothomin, Rose, as I already told you," he replied, trying to look stern.

She tried and failed to repeat the name a few times before collapsing in giggles. The Doctor watched her with a straight face (mostly) while Jack, on the opposite side of their booth, leaned back and took another swig of his drink before watching the two of them interact, as he loved to do.

"Say it one more time, Doctor? Please?" Rose asked, looking at him pleadingly as she got her laughter under control.

He complied, and Rose watched his lips carefully, licking her own unconsciously as she did so.

"Hydrophlorothomin," she finally repeated correctly, reaching out for her celebratory hug without seeing the darkening of his eyes.

Jack, on the other hand, had most definitely noticed.

"Talented tongue you've got there, Rosie," he said, holding up his drink to her in a mock toast, ignoring the Doctor's glare.

"I do, Jack," she said in reply as she pulled away from the Doctor and turned a flirty look toward the Captain. "But I'm not nearly drunk enough to tell you about it." She frowned slightly. "Actually, why am I not drunk enough to tell you about it? I've had at least enough of these to be properly pissed, and yeah, I'm feeling them, but I'm not that far gone."

Jack eyed his drink and looked at the still-sober Time Lord.

"You've got a point," said Jack. "Hey Doc, can you check for an IDF?"

The Doctor's eyebrows rose slightly and he retrieved his sonic. He pointed it toward the bar from under the table.

"What's he checking for?" Rose asked Jack. The Doctor responded instead.

"Inebriation Dampening Field," he explained. "It's illegal on most planets unless a warning is placed on the door."

"What it does," added Jack, "is it limits how much you feel the effects of the alcohol. It's a great way to get patrons to just buzzed enough to want more to drink, and then the poor schmucks just keep buying more drinks, hoping to get trashed and never getting there. It's also a great way to discourage bar fights. It's awfully dull," he finished with a wink.

"There is one," said the Doctor. "Was, rather. I reckon I'm doing a public service, disabling an illegal device."

"This should be fun," chuckled Jack as he downed the rest of his drink and signaled the waitress for another round.

Rose quickly reached the level of intoxication she was looking for, and she leaned into the Doctor, who had relaxed enough to put an arm around her. Jack, meanwhile, had pulled one of the waitresses over, and she was quite gladly paying him attention; the bar had gotten pretty rowdy quite quickly, and the purple-skinned waitress seemed to be looking for an excuse to relax for a moment. When she finally walked away, Rose spoke up.

"Captain Jack, you can make it with anyone, can't you?" she asked, a definite slur present after her last couple of drinks.

"You bet, Rosie," he said, leaning over toward their side of the table, "and I'm happy to demonstrate why any time you'd like. That goes for you, too, Doc," he added when the Doctor pulled Rose closer to him.

Rose hadn't previously noticed the arm around her and looked at the Doctor's left hand curiously, then over to the man it was attached to.

"Whatcha got your arm around me for, Doctor?" she asked.

He pulled back as if burned.

"You kept falling over," he said defensively. "Forgive me for trying to keep you up."

"I'd like to keep you up, Doctor," said Jack from across the table, making Rose giggle again. "Sorry," he said, "I couldn't resist."

"Okay, I think we've all had enough," said the Doctor firmly, nodding to illustrate his point as a fight broke out across the room, the baffled bartender unsure whether to interfere or run.

The trio left after Jack placed enough credits on the table to cover their tab. Rose hung onto the Doctor's arm as they walked, Jack on the other side of her.

"Nobody's gonna get hurt in that fight, right Doctor?" asked Rose, worriedly.

"Nope," he replied. "I turned the dampener back on when we left. It'll bring this group back down quickly. I'll send an anonymous message to the authorities as soon as we get back to the TARDIS. They'll see to it that anyone who was drinking tonight is compensated."

"Poor saps," said Jack as they approached the TARDIS doors. "I'm glad you turned it on after we left instead of before."

Jack gave Rose and the Doctor a longing, appraising look as they entered the TARDIS ahead of him, admiring the view while it was presented to him. He sighed, shook his head, and followed them in, taking one last look at Hydrophlorothomin's burgundy night sky before closing the doors behind him.


End file.
